


Like Everything Else, It Happened to Jack

by Regency



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Humor, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:10:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6263584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regency/pseuds/Regency
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. On a planet where jealousy turns people green, Jack makes the mistake of taking Sam's banter with a local personally.  It's not a pretty sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Everything Else, It Happened to Jack

**Author's Note:**

> comment_fic prompt SG-1, Sam/Jack, Green with Envy. Think I may have re-interpreted a little bit. Hope it’s all right. I haven’t done them in a while, so forgive, well, everything.

It was mating season on the planet they'd just returned from. The ecology of the world was built around this time in the annual cycle. The atmosphere was charged with an unidentifiable substance that transformed the color of a being's skin when they exhibited the biological signs of attraction.  Once that attraction was consummated, all would return to normal. If not, the color deepened for every annual cycle the attraction remained unfulfilled. And, then there were additional factors to consider.

 

Jack wished they'd known that before he set foot planetside. He was currently cooling his heels in the infirmary, sporting a shade of green ripe enough to make the marines giggle. And they did, as they passed by en masse. Someone must have tipped them off to his predicament. He rolled eyes. _Thanks, Daniel._

 

He was crossing his fingers that at least the details of his...condition remained secret.  Hammond didn't need more questions from the higher-ups about Jack's field readiness. If he showed that he was more prone "incidents" now than he had been before, he could kiss SG-1 goodbye.  That was the last thing either of them had wanted. That was why they'd waited so long.

 

He'd heard from Teal'c that Sam had come halfway to the infirmary four times before retreating to her lab to do _anything_ else. Last time they'd talked, she was buffing naquadah ore.  Despite Teal'c repeated attempts to tell her it was fruitless, she persisted.  _Any port in a storm, eh, Carter_ , he thought and rubbed his incredibly green forehead. _Damn, that's gotta clash with the hair_.

 

He was not enjoying being on display for the entirety of the SGC, but Janet had flat out refused to put him in isolation.  He wasn't showing any symptoms of internal illness and he didn't seem to be contagious. He was just...green.  She hadn't laughed to his face, but he'd seen her shoulders shaking as she pulled the curtain shut. 

 

 _For crying out  loud, it's not like we haven't seen green people before_. He pulled a face. _All right, they're grey, but that's not the point. We travel to alien planets. We fight alien invasions using alien technology. Is an alien-looking human so hard to conceive of?_

 

Once more, he overheard laughter from the general direction of the door.  He threw up his hands.  If he didn't know better, he'd think this was a high school instead of Earth's last line of defense against the Goa'uld.  "Hope you enjoyed the show. Leave a tip or get the hell out."

 

"I'm out of cash, sir. How about an I.O.U?"

 

Jack sat up from his reclined position to see Sam Carter leaning around his curtain.  Hair awry as though she'd run her fingers through it half a dozen times and camos wrinkled like she hadn't slept, she was still a sight for sore eyes.

 

He smiled (grateful that his teeth and gums remained unaffected). "Come on in, Carter. Your money's no good here." He waved her over to the seat beside the bed. "Sit. Put your feet up. Stay a while." She did just that, cushioning her hands between her knees.

 

"How are you, Colonel?"  Of course she was nervous. He was her CO; she worried because a subordinate worried. He'd known her long enough to interpret what was going on behind her eyes

 

"I'm all right, Carter. I'll be fine. Just gotta, you know, work this," he gestured uneasily at himself, "--gotta work this out somehow. You know how it is, alien influence, human-alien physiological incompatibility. It'll wear off."

 

"Eventually," she finished for him. She was always doing that. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

 

He nodded. "Eventually."

 

"Sir, I talked to General Hammond."  She laced her fingers together and directed her eyes towards the railing of the bed.

 

His eyebrows quirked up of their own accord, though he doubted she could tell.  "Oh? I take it this wasn't a social call."

 

"No, sir."

 

He exhaled loudly.  "Damn it, Carter. Spit it out!"

 

"Colonel, General Hammond advised me to tell you that we need to handle this situation in-house; otherwise, we may face far more serious consequences."

 

Jack narrowed his eyes and really looked at his second-in-command. "In-house. Meaning?"

 

"Meaning, you need to work out your attraction, sir, whomever ever it might be to."  She steadily continued not to look him in the eye, something totally out of character for her. He continued trying to interpret what was going unsaid.  He'd already dragged his hand down his face by the time it hit him.

 

"We have his blessing?"

 

She lifted her baby blues up as she took a deep breath. She set her lips in a strident line and gave him a firm nod. "Yes, sir."

 

"Well, that's great."  He was at a loss for what to do next.  They'd had _their_ unofficial blessing for some time and it had come to nothing. It was only now that that there was risk involved that it seemed to matter. He'd almost screwed up 'this'--whatever it was--with 'this.'  He rubbed his temples; he didn't really want to think about it logically. It reminded him too much of time travel.

 

"Sir," she drew his attention again.  She was standing now with her hands in her pockets.  She was smiling, albeit faintly, and he was glad to see it. "You know this never would have happened if you'd just asked me to the cabin when we got the initial okay."

 

Jack was momentarily blown away. He blinked and her grin grew. It shook him out of his stupor and found himself smiling right back.  "Can't help it, Carter. Smart, beautiful women knock me off my feet. They didn't teach us how to handle that in the Ops."

 

She was wearing a verifiable smirk now. He let down the--unnecessary--railing so she could set on the edge right next to him.  "Apparently, they didn't teach you to avoid triggering biological spores in alien atmospheres either."

 

He found himself blinking again, still smiling though.  "Knew I should have signed up for _Green or Bust 101_ back at the Academy. Ah, well." He shrugged, because he was out of other things to do.

 

It was her turn to shake her head.  "I can't believe you actually got jealous over that _alien_ councilman."

 

He would have flushed if he could have. If he could, he probably would have turned a lively shade of lime. He'd rather never find out.  "He was pretty friendly, Carter, even for a politician. I've been around the block a few times, I know when a man appreciates a woman and I know when he wants something from her."

 

She raised an eyebrow of her own, all the while stifling an obvious grin. "Looks like he wasn't the only one who wanted something."  Her laughter was good-natured, but completely uncontrollable.

 

He groaned and dropped his head back onto his pillow.  "How the hell was I supposed to know that 'jealousy' made a man turn green? That wasn't in the briefing, Carter. You didn't put it in there."

 

She reached over and lightly ruffled his steel grey hair.  "You wouldn't have read it anyway, sir."

 

He looked up at her as she was leaning over him. He could get used to this, her so close. He could get used to touching her.  "I might have, you never know." If she'd asked him to, he would have. He'd stay green the rest of his career if she wanted it that way. _It wouldn't be much longer anyway. It might not be so bad_.

 

Her lips turned up on just one side.  "Hope this won't happen the next time someone hits on me."

 

He murmured petulantly, "Never going back there, so we'll never know."

 

"If you say so, Colonel," she affirmed like the good airman she was, like it was really that simple.

 

He wasn't so sure who was really giving the orders anymore, but he trusted her.

 

He still hated being green.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters recognizable as being from StarGate SG-1. They are the property of their producers, writers, and studios, not me. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story. It was good, clean fun.


End file.
